My thanks to Jen for sharing some of her experiences around accessing spaces in churches and the community with her kids. Notice what you might be missing, ask the question and be willing to do things differently…
My name is Jen and I’m Mum to a neurodivergent 13 year old girl and a 7 year old with a very rare genetic syndrome. He has a learning disability which means intellectually he’s around 2 years old. He also has low muscle tone; he’s been learning to walk with assistance in the last year. He’s non verbal but currently has a long term loan of a ‘Talker’ device which he is learning to use.
It’s fair to say we’ve come across a reasonable number of accessibility obstacles in the last 7 years. Just trying to walk to a friend’s house 10 minutes away can be a challenge with the amount of pavement and dropped curb parking locally! I purchased some postcards that kindly remind people to be considerate of access needs, which I’m steadily dishing out onto cars.
Obviously the physical barrier is the most obvious one, and the first to stop my son accessing a space – if there’s no ramp then he can’t get in. But accessibility goes so much deeper. If a space is too noisy then he really struggles to be within it. We’ve been to events that are supposedly designed for disabled people, and yet someone’s decided it’s a good idea to play loud music in an echoey space. You can try all the distraction and persuasion techniques, but he won’t stay there because it’s obviously very uncomfortable for him. My daughter experiences sound in a similar way, but at least she can moderate it with Loops or headphones; we’ve yet to find a headphone solution that he will wear for more than a few minutes.
Changing Places is another sticking point. He wears pads and yet he is too heavy and too long for most baby changing facilities; Changing Places facilities are few and far between. A local park built one, which I thought was fantastic, until I realised you can’t open it with a regular radar key (God forbid, a homeless person might use it). You have to travel 2 miles to a citizen’s ‘support’ venue, be grilled by a poorly trained advisor and ‘prove’ that you require the use of it and be allocated a fob. The first time I went to collect a fob, I didn’t take adequate proof and the advisor tried to claim he didn’t need the facilities because he doesn’t always require a hoist. The amount of hoops you have to jump through to access the system is ridiculous. Imagine if they made non disabled people travel 2 miles and show ID before they could use a public toilet?! I suppose I should be grateful it exists at all.
There are only 22 churches in the UK that have registered Changing Place facilities. Our church is in the process of planning an accessible entrance and toilets. The disabled toilet won’t meet the full Changing Places requirements as a hoist is not feasible, but the height adjustable, full sized changing table will meet his, and many others, needs. We are looking forward to a fully accessible entrance and route to the hall without an outside dash to Godly Play in all weathers.
I think one of the things that’s made us feel most welcome at our church, besides someone remembering to put the ramps out, is the members of the congregation who ask “what can we do to make the space more accessible?” It’s the lady who encourages me to tell the clergy to stop trying to lay hands on him for a blessing during communion, when he values his personal space. Or the general acceptance around his loud stimming or babbling on his Talker in the prayers. When you’re new to a church environment you want to fit in, but when that doesn’t work for you or your child, then permission from a member of the congregation to find alternatives goes a long way.
There are a lot of other ideas of how to make your church accessible to different disabilities in Inclusive Church’s Make Room at the Inn resource.