Blessed are the Weary report

Blessed are the Weary: 13^th annual conference on Disability and Church

A report from this year’s conference (October 2024)

One of my most anticipated events of the year is the St Martin in the Fields/Inclusive Church disability conference in October. It is a unique and precious space by and for Deaf, disabled, neurodivergent and chronically ill Christians. Many of us find fresh ideas, renewed hope and life-changing theology among a community who ‘get it’,  whose lived and faith experiences resonate with our own.

Previous conferences have been onsite or online but this year was an online quiet day of pre-recorded content. The theme ‘Blessed are the Weary’ was both recognition and exploration of the weariness and exhaustion experienced by many disabled people – including those involved in planning the conference –  in a world which often values ‘doing’ rather than ‘being’. The abundant content for the day was recorded, captioned, transcribed and BSL translated and made available for delegates to watch and participate from 19^thOctober to the end of November, as energy and attention allow, while a private Facebook group and Zoom gathering meant we could meet and share responses. The asynchronous format attracted more than 100 people, many joining for the first time.

As usual the conference included two storytellers: this year, Sarah and Alex. Sarah’s wisdom – about slowing down and leaving space, being on the periphery and part of a community – resonated with many of us.  It was a beautiful, meditative way of moving into the day.  I shall remember her thoughts for a long time, particularly, ‘I always think the resurrected Christ must have been exhausted’. Alex talked about Christ’s meals – how the Eucharist can be used to exclude or include while also being beautiful, and how the breakfast on the beach with resurrected Jesus resonates with him: a space where body and soul are fed, denials are reversed and second and third chances are given. Both Alex and Sarah spoke of worth being seen in community, in companionship, and of our bodies being broken so our lives can be shared – an idea from the late John Hull.

Fiona MacMillan interviewed Sam Wells,  vicar of St Martin in the Fields, about  theology around worth and value. There were many ideas, two of which have stayed with me in particular.  Sam reminded us that God created the Sabbath rest as the crown of creation, which is profoundly counter to our prevailing culture of worth equated to productivity.  He also spoke of us all being burdens to one another – but that not being a bad thing because interdependence is actually key to our lives.  I think this idea of the  importance of interdependence  is something everyone needs to hear, not just those of us who more obviously rely on others!

There were three ‘workshop’ sessions. I was glad we could attend all three if we wanted as they were not time bound, in contrast to choosing only one when on-site or on zoom!

I had prepared one session, ‘Resting with Christ’. I offered reflections on my lino print of a chronically ill Christ in bed cradling a child, and led an exercise of imaginative contemplation. Judging by the comments in the Facebook group, people seem to have found it helpful. One member created a beautiful poetic meditation based on their imagined conversation with the chronically ill Christ.

Natalia-Nana Lester-Bush led a session on Rest as Resistance, taking inspiration from Tricia Hersey’s book ‘Rest is Resistance’. Natalia-Nana’s commitment to being real, including showing up with her messy background, resonated with me and many others.  She encouraged us to feel and express our emotions, including grief at a world and a church that aren’t made for us. She reflected on how we might use rest as resistance against the dominant cultural ideas that define worth as productivity and see life in many ways as transactional. We can instead rejoice in the flexible, dynamic, supportive community of disabled people, and the fact that Jesus also went away to rest.  She led us in a sensory relaxation exercise focused on an image of Jesus as a resting Black woman in a yellow dress, which beautifully resisted the cultural norms both about Christ and of caring for our bodies.

Rachel Noel led the third session on ‘Creativity for Weary Hearts’. She introduced us to the Japanese philosophy of wabi-sabi – of seeing beauty in in the imperfect – which echoed this conference’s ethos of embracing our body minds, just as we are. I enjoyed Rachel’s encouragement to trust the process of creativity, of entering into it playfully rather than creating a polished finished product. Rachel introduced us to freehand Celtic knotwork, and shared an inspiring meditation based on this and words from Psalm 139.

Emily Richardson had compiled a beautiful conference playlist of ‘Music for Weary Souls’. She suggested more than 40 pieces in a wide range of musical styles to support us when feeling weary or burnt out. Many people enjoyed this gentle music as a soundtrack for their resting.

Valour Nicholas, Hannah Lewis, Fiona MacMillan and Ann Memmott had written a beautiful liturgy, with music sung by St Martin’s Voices. The service invited us to bring our whole, weary selves and rest in God.  I found it deeply moving to be part of a service and worshipping community that explicitly recognised where I and many other disabled people come from, and that God is in and part of our experience.

Throughout Saturday and beyond, wisdom flowed through the private Facebook group. To help us navigate there were posts inviting our responses to ‘Tea and introductions’, ‘What is Rest’, ‘I’m tired of…’, ‘Wow, that’s so…’, as well as spaces for ask for or offer prayers and share resources. The conversations were lively and filled with wisdom and solidarity, from shared frustrations of navigating the world as a disabled person, to explorations of rest, sharing our highlights of the day and offering recommendations and resources to one another.

On the Sunday afternoon about 25 of us gathered on zoom, coming just as we were  –  ‘glowing icons on the screen’,  as Sarah puts it. This was a joyful time of celebrating the deep resonances of the conference, recognising each other’s worth and reflecting that worth together.

My thanks to the conference planning team, contributors and delegates, without all of whom the conference wouldn’t be the wonderful, life-giving, accessible and affirming time that it is. Thanks too to St Martin’s and Inclusive Church for making this gathering possible for the last 13 years. I am always deeply inspired and grateful for the community, wisdom and solidarity I find at these conferences among my fellow Deaf, disabled, neurodivergent, and chronically ill friends. And I’m looking forward to the next one – though I might rest a bit first.

• Report by Dr Rachel Holdforth (Spiritual director, Disability advocate and printmaker. Follow wobbly goose on Instagram to hear more from Rachel)
• NatCo comment: I was also able to attend this year’s conference and found it a very soul nourishing experience. Alongside the recorded sessions, participants were encouraged and enabled to share and build community through a specific Facebook group with allocated threads for different topics. This poem was shared there in response to, and inspired by, Rachel’s lino print and session on ‘Chronic Pain Jesus’. I found both to be breath catchingly thought provoking, so asked if I could share their work with you all here, in the newsletter. I’m very happy to say, they both agreed! It’s only a teeny snapshot into the conference but I hope it will help deepen your awareness and appreciation of the wealth of talent that is represented there.